Today I messed up by accidentally revealing my boyfriend’s mom’s infidelity.
Obligatory. The story actually happened about a year ago. I, 18 female at the time, was dating a boy named Jacob, 18
male at the time. His father, early 60s, was a mechanic and his mom, mid-50s, was a stay-at-home mom. They were a pretty
typical white suburban family in the south and had asked Jacob if they could meet me even though we had only been dating for a month. At the dinner, I met
his mom, dad, older brother, older sister, and her newborn daughter. The dinner went well, and I was chatting about my volunteer work at my college’s
blood drive, to which his father explains that his doctor told him he was O negative at Universal Blood Donor. My boyfriend mentions he is also O, but his
siblings casually mentioned they are both AB. I don’t think anything of it because my boyfriend had mentioned that his mom was married once before and was widowed. The following conversations
went like this. me. Oh, that’s really cool. You’re a really rare blood type.
If you don’t mind me asking, is your mom’s blood type A and your dad’s B or your dad’s A and mom’s B? Older sister,
what do you mean? He is O. Gesturing to my boyfriend’s father. Me? Oh, I know. I was just asking about your bio, father.
But of course, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. Father noticed his mom getting really pale. And it was in that moment I realized I [music] messed up. older brother. What do you mean bio?
Father me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. Jacob’s dad got really quiet, but looking at his wife’s face,
he knew instantly. I look over to Jacob, who I think was starting to put the full picture of what was happening together.
Jacob’s dad, are you saying they’re not my biological kids? Because my wife swore up and down in marriage counseling, by marriage counseling they
mean with a pastor, that they were my kids and she would never cheat on me.
Yeah, turns out she never had any kids from her previous marriage. Jacob’s mom.
I would never cheat on you. Older sister and older brother are your kids. Jacob’s dad. Opie, why do you think they’re not
my kids? I tried to excuse myself because it was very clear the cat was out of the bag. And with a quick Google search for my boyfriend, he starts
cousing out his [music] mom. She starts to sob and apologizes over and over again. And I’m forced to explain 9th grade biology to his father about the
fact that the only kids he could have produced were with the blood type O, A or B, but absolutely not AB. So, Jacob
was the only one with a possibility of being a son. They all start screaming at one another. Older sister eventually leaves because her newborn is screaming
too. His mom goes and locks herself in the bedroom, but his older brother follows her, screaming, asking who his real father is. My boyfriend is trying
to figure out if his dad still wants to be their father. And I eventually have a friend come pick me up. Yeah, we broke
up shortly after, but not after figuring out that none of the kids produced from the marriage was his. They found out via
paternity tests and for sure weren’t his kids, [music] and they divorced soon after. Edit. For those asking how they
knew their blood types, Jacob donated blood for the blood drive at our school.
His sister just had the baby, so she was probably informed during pregnancy.
Jacob’s dad was told by his doctor for probably underlying medical reasons. I don’t know. I wasn’t ever really close to his family after that for obvious
reasons, and I don’t know how his brother knew.
Now for the top comments. That’s an amazing life experience. Not many people get to be the catalyst for a family
disintegrating by holding an impromptu high school science lecture. Wicked.
I second this. It may have felt uncomfortable in the moment, but knowing science and explaining it to people who don’t know science is never a screw-up.
This is exactly why our bio class stopped having the students compare their blood to their parents’ blood for labs. Apparently, there was always one
kid every year who was not biologically connected to the dad. I wonder how many people will actually see a family implode. You had a front [music] row seat. What do you mean front row seat?
This lucky/ unlucky lady was driving.
Steered head first into the family, then got out of the car and run away and scathed. Damn, all his kids weren’t his after 18 years.
Yeah, that might break me. Legitimately break me. definitely would still love the crap out of my kids, but I think [music] something would break inside me.
The knowing that my entire reproductive life due to 60 is a lie, and the opportunity to father biological kids is
long past. I couldn’t talk to my soon to be expouse again. Then I would need some therapy. I found [music] out right around the time a little princess turned
one-year-old. I had some doubts beforehand, but didn’t pursue it because I was scared of the truth. Turns out she wasn’t mine. And it truly did break me
and put me into a dark, self-ending place in my life that I’m [music] thankful I made it out of. There’s nothing more devastatingly heartwrenching than finding out a child whom you love so much is not yours.
She’s now 5 years old and she will always [music] be my princess and my daughter to me, no matter who or what anyone says. Her real father is in her life now, but she still calls me daddy.
I have an older daughter too that is for sure my blood and they are sisters so I will always be part of her life and will never turn my back on her for her
mother’s infidelity. None of this was her fault. She is an innocent child and she is nothing short of a blessing to me regardless of blood.
Next story is titled My 22 female dad 50 male found out my brother 13 male isn’t his and is demanding that I participate
in a paternity test. My brother has been having serious medical issues. I don’t want to get into details, but in the
midst of one of his hospitalizations, it was found out my brother is not my dad’s son. My dad was devastated and left the
house and went radio silent for a lot of days. My mom, 47 female, knew that I was bound to talk to her sometime soon. So, she admitted that she had an affair with
a boss when she started working for him at age 23 and stopped working for him at 35 when he retired. The man died a few years ago and my mom said she was sure
that I was my father’s child. My dad pretty much told everybody in the extended family about what we found out.
So things were already starting to become a war with relatives saying their pieces. Their separation got even more bitter when my mom decided to be the one
to serve divorce papers on my dad. From what I got out of the two of them, my mom thought my dad was going to punish my brother by denying him funds for
medical care. and she said for him she needed to be the one to say her peace first. I’ve tried to reach out to my dad and offer him my emotional support. I
noticed he was looking in Kempempt and looked to not be eating well. So I offered to go stock up his apartment with the groceries. I also offered my
financial support because I was grateful he put me through Vanderbilt even though we’re not rich or upper middle class and I’ve gotten a good job in finance and good paying internships because of it.
He’s been called about all my overtures and would use our calls to rant about every aspect of his life. He yelled at me through the phone once when I
mentioned that my brother said I missed my dad and sends his love. It has been hell, especially because I feel like I have to take sides. My parents credit is
terrible due to medical bills and other expenses. But if I give money to my mom, then I’ll be favoring her over my dad.
And I’m of course mad at my mom for hurting my dad. My dad called me the other day. It’s one of the few times he called me instead of the other way
around and he said that he thinks that he has to know. So, he was asking me if I’d go with him to take a [music] paternity test. He told me that he
always thought it didn’t look like him, but my brother out of us too looked more like him. He texted me about this many times after his call. I have to be
honest, I want a good relationship with my dad again, and I know if it turns out I am his daughter that it would improve,
but I’m afraid of the alternative. And I don’t know if I want to know. And my dad also admitted he doesn’t [music] know if he wants to know sometimes either.
But let’s just get it over with even if the results will hurt us. What do I do? I’m afraid we’ll both regret a lot of the actions we take in this period. I also
feel sad because this is still my dad and I would be devastated if our bond would be nothing to my dad if he finds out I’m not his biological kid.
Now for the top advice. If it was my dad, I do the test. I’d want to know [music] too. OP, your mom had a 12- year
long affair. That’s longer than most marriages. There’s no way your dad won’t need a paternity test. Your mom had the
nerve to divorce first to say her peace first.
Essentially, she never cared for your father. Your dad loves you and his son. The hate and rejection he may
express is more to do with the fact your mother humiliated, debased, and lied to him for what is essentially his entire life and regarding the things he cared
for the most. Every time your brother called your father dad, every birthday they spent together. Throughout your mother’s pregnancy, while your brother
was sick, while they spent time together as father and son, your mother knew the truth, and I’d bet her boss knew, too.
Your dad sacrificed time, effort, mental well-being, and considerable money to support his family. And the only reason the affair stopped is because your mom
was effectively dumped. What could be more humiliating to your dad? He has been played for a fool most of his life.
So if he lashes out at you and your brother, it’s because he is vulnerable, hating that he loves what was used against him. If he carries on as normal,
he feels he is giving your mother what she wants without her ever receiving justice. Your paternal grandparents, uncles, aunts, your [music] cousins were
all duped. If your brother has children, they also won’t be biologically related to him. Your mother has carried out an intergenerational deceit. Even your
brother was left in the dark. Has he been told? Give your money to your dad and tell him to use it for your brother.
Cutting out your mother from the equation will make it more palatable for him. Has your mom shown any remorse, guilt, regret? How does she justify what
she did? What consequences has she faced? This entire situation is due to the selfish actions of one individual.
Her actions have damaged your father’s relationships. But he still loves you and your brother. His ties to you are stronger than her lies. In my opinion,
your best bet at maintaining a relationship with him, regardless of the results of any test, is to unilaterally and immediately cut your mom out of your
life before the test. He needs to see you take his feelings seriously.
Empathize first and foremost with your father. Show him you care, and he will be more aminable to helping your brother, especially if your mom pays a
price for her betrayal. He deserves the right to know as you do. You both only know the lies your mother has told you, and this is the key bit. so far.
Specifically, she had what reads as a 12-ear affair. 12 years and shows no remorse. Most of your dad’s entire adult
life and half his family are a lie. He deserves to know and so do you. I agree, but also wants to add, OP, you got to go
to therapy, and [music] so do your dad and your brother. I’d suggest telling him you’ll take the test if he commits to going to therapy, which you will pay
for, including a requirement that he go to some therapy sessions before you take the test, including maybe a joint therapy session with you, where you can
tell him you understand how hard this is and you love him no matter what and want to be in his life no matter what. And you need to go to therapy before you take the test, too.
Now, for the last story, I messed up by hooking my girlfriend up with a job at a company I work for. happened years ago,
but I was told to post this here. My girlfriend [music] at the time and I were dating for just shy of six years.
We were high school sweethearts and still in school. She’d always struggled with jobs and keeping them, and since we lived together, I usually had to pick up
the slack. I was working as an assistant manager at a video game retail store at the time. Probably not hard to figure out which one. [music] It was honestly
an easy job as long as you gave little effort. Pre-orders here, couple warranty sales there. And as my girlfriend loved video games more than I did, I had a
brilliant idea to get her a job. She’s an attractive girl. While 80% of our customers were neck beards who hardly get to interact with women. Should be
easy for her to make sales. There’s no way she can mess this up. I said confidently to myself. There is a policy, as of most companies, that
people in relationships can’t work at the same location. No problem. We have 12 stores in our district that are within a 5m radius. They seriously put these stores on every other block.
[music] I do a little digging and hook her up at a neighboring store that had a vacant position. She would also be working with the head store manager of the district and directly one of my
bosses. Few weeks in [music] and it’s going great. It took me about a year to get moved up. She doesn’t. I’m not a self-conscious person, so I didn’t care.
Plus, she could help pick up her half of the bills. Here’s where I started to realize I messed up. girlfriend comes driving in with a brand new car.
Considering we were living paycheck to paycheck, I was pretty upset. I asked her where she got the car from, and she
told me I’ve been saving up. BS, but okay. I loved her, so as long as she’s happy, I’m happy. Next comes in with
writeups. I started getting writeups and customer complaints left and right. I’m a very good employee and I very rarely
make anyone upset and I couldn’t even find where these customers were coming from. Even though my performance was the best out of most employees, I was
starting to fear for my job. It has to be predicted I ended up getting fired. I try to fight it, but I live in Texas and
the rules are that companies can fire anyone at any time for any reason. I’m absolutely crushed. I turned to my girlfriend for emotional support only to
find her extremely distant. She dumped me days later. Double Emmy. I loved her for 6 years. She told me she felt this way for a while. Things are the same.
I’m absolutely heartbroken. I’m angry, [music] depressed, jobless. Felt like my life got flipped upside down. One week
later, her Facebook status put her in a relationship with her boss. My boss. Not sure when it happened, but it bought her
a car and then got me fired. Turns out all the customer complaints about me originated from that store somehow.
Total BS. I set her up to absolutely screw me over and to bone my boss. Edit: Perhaps the biggest screw-up is the fact
I didn’t sue. I was such an emotional wreck from everything that didn’t even cross my mind. But I’m doing pretty well for myself now, and whatever money I got
would be worth bringing her to court for. Just the thought of seeing her sends chill down my spine.
Now for the top comments before the little update. Damn, like she couldn’t just leave you. For what reason did that
guy have to get you fired first? I can’t imagine how you were feeling after that.
She probably got his old job since she couldn’t suck up to her boss and work at the same location as him. Damn, now I’m
sad. [music] For those asking why sad, I appreciate that Opie’s doing better now and I’m happy for him. Truly, I wrote the original comment prior to edits detailing his happiness and moving on.
Not only that, though, I’m going through something similar to a story. I’m sure the moment of impact was awful and the suffering was intense at the time.
Still, I’m glad things have gotten better. She sounds crazy. Better it happened now than later when you were married and she tries to take half your stuff. Yeah, this happened for a reason.
Andy dodged a bullet there.
Update. A couple of you guys were wondering, but they dated a few months and broke it off. Neither of them work for the company anymore. A little detail
I forgot to mention that when she came to take her stuff from our place, he was helping carry the stuff to her car. That was probably the most gut-wrenching
moment for me. Both of them are POS. I really appreciate all the positive [music] feedback. I’ve been mostly over
it, but the love really helps. Some of you guys are asking where she’s now.
She’s doing all right. She’s [music] engaged to one of my old high school friends. Also slightly suspicious. Still driving the same car, too, from the
looks of it. I’m doing pretty well for myself, but if there is any happy ending to this is that I’m genuinely happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Again, I really appreciate the positive messages.
Reliving and retelling the story made me angry and I missed a few details. I can’t prove that he bought her a car, but I was pretty aware of her finances
and she couldn’t afford a new car without significant help. It wasn’t a fancy car. It was a new Prius that was worth about $18,000 in addition to
trading in her old car. The rumor around the block was that he did in fact help her. I was not a perfect boyfriend. I
got upset at silly things. I could have been more attentive, but I never raised my voice and I was very loyal. The course of when she got promoted to when
she got the car was roughly 3 to 4 months. The separation and firing happened in about 2 months after that. I didn’t clarify that detail. The boss was
a DM in training, recently got promoted, and the kind of guy that would spend money to impress a girl.
