My name is Ethan, I’m 35, and I work at a small marketing agency in Nashville, Tennessee. Our office is usually pretty normal — typical open-plan desks, a coffee machine that only works half the time, and the occasional birthday cake in the break room.
Nothing unusual.
Until about three months ago.
That’s when my coworker Sarah started bringing a goose to work every Friday.
Yes. An actual goose.
The first time it happened, everyone thought it was some kind of joke. Sarah walked into the office carrying a large pet carrier and set it down next to her desk.
A few minutes later she opened the carrier and out waddled a full-grown goose wearing a tiny harness.
The entire office just stared.
Someone finally asked, “Is that… a goose?”
Sarah smiled and said, “Yeah, this is Oliver. He’s my emotional support animal.”
Now, I’ve worked in offices where people bring emotional support dogs before. Nobody really questions that.
But a goose?
That was new.
Apparently Sarah had cleared it with HR ahead of time. Management later confirmed that the goose was allowed in the office because it was related to ADA accommodations.
So every Friday, Oliver the goose arrives at the office.
And Oliver does not behave like a quiet office pet.
First of all, geese are loud.
If someone walks past Sarah’s desk too quickly, Oliver hisses like a tiny feathered security guard.
Two weeks ago he chased one of our interns halfway down the hallway because the intern was carrying a sandwich.
Speaking of food, Oliver also has a habit of wandering toward the break room whenever someone opens a bag of chips.
Last Friday he actually jumped onto a chair and tried to steal part of someone’s lunch.
Management’s official stance so far has been: “Oliver hasn’t technically violated any office policies.”
Meanwhile the rest of us are slowly adapting to the reality that our workplace now includes aggressive waterfowl.
Meetings have been interrupted by honking noises.
The cleaning staff refuses to go near Sarah’s desk area on Fridays.
And one coworker has started bringing extra crackers just to distract Oliver during conference calls.
At this point I’ve accepted that every Friday is basically Goose Day at the office.
But I still can’t believe I have to schedule my work tasks around the movements of an emotional support bird.
If anyone has advice on how to professionally coexist with a goose in a marketing office…
I’m listening.