My name is Megan, I’m 30, and my cousin is getting married in Charleston, South Carolina later this year. Like many weddings, it’s turning into a pretty elaborate event with a lot of detailed planning.
Over the past few months, she’s been sharing updates with the family — venue choices, menu tastings, decorations, all of it.
I’ve been supportive the whole time.
Or at least, I thought I had.
Last week she invited me over to show me some of the wedding favors she was considering.
When I got there, she had a table set up with different options.
Mini bottles of champagne.
Custom cookies.
And then… candles.
Not just any candles.
Small, personalized candles with custom labels and packaging.
They were actually really nice.
But then she told me the cost.
$800 total for the batch she wanted to order.
Now, I’m not an expert on weddings, but that number immediately stood out to me as… a lot.
Especially for something that many guests might forget to take home or never use.
She could tell I hesitated, so she said:
“Be honest — what do you think?”
And that’s where things went wrong.
Because instead of giving a gentle, neutral answer, I said:
“Honestly? That feels like kind of a waste of money.”
The room went quiet.
She looked at me for a second and said, “A waste?”
I tried to explain.
I said the candles were pretty, but that wedding favors often get left behind, and maybe the money could be used for something guests would actually remember more.
Like better food, drinks, or even saving it.
But the more I talked, the worse it sounded.
She got visibly upset and said I was being negative about something she was excited about.
I told her she asked for honest feedback.
She said there’s a difference between honest and harsh.
We ended the conversation shortly after that, and things have been awkward since.
My aunt later told me I should have just said something polite, even if I didn’t agree.
Now I’m replaying the moment in my head.
Because on one hand, she did ask for honesty.
On the other hand, I probably could have phrased it in a way that didn’t immediately label her idea as a “waste.”
I wasn’t trying to insult her.
I just answered the question directly.
But now I’m wondering if I crossed a line.
AITAH for giving blunt feedback when my cousin asked for my honest opinion about her wedding favors?
