I always thought I had a good boss.
I’m Jenna, 29 now. This happened in September 2024, when I was 28 and working as a marketing coordinator at a mid-sized tech startup in Denver called NovaTech. I’d been there three years — started as an intern, worked my way up. The company was young, fast-paced, “work hard, play hard” culture: ping-pong tables, beer on tap, all-hands parties.
My boss, Mark, was 42 — VP of Marketing, charismatic, the guy who could pitch to investors and then crush everyone at beer pong. He’d mentored me: gave me lead on big campaigns, recommended me for my promotion, always said “You’re going places, Jenna.”
I admired him.
Thought he respected me.
Until one sentence in a team meeting changed everything.
It was a Wednesday morning — weekly marketing sync, 15 people on Zoom and in the conference room. We were reviewing Q3 results. I’d led the social media campaign for our new product launch — record engagement, 40% over goal, great ROI.
Mark was presenting the numbers.
He got to my slide: “And huge shoutout to Jenna — our social numbers absolutely crushed it.”
Everyone clapped — I smiled, said “Team effort.”
Then Mark grinned — that cocky grin he does — and added:
“Yeah, Jenna’s great at getting people to engage… must be all that practice from her dating apps.”
The room went silent.
A few nervous laughs from the guys.
I felt my face burn.
He’d made a “joke” implying I was on dating apps a lot — sleeping around, basically.
In front of the entire team.
I was single — yes, on Hinge, had mentioned a bad date once in a casual team chat.
But this? Publicly sexualizing me?
Reducing my professional win to something crude?
I stared at my camera.
Mark kept going — “Anyway, moving on…”
Meeting ended.
No one said anything in chat.
I muted my mic, turned off camera, and cried at my desk.
After, two female coworkers DM’d me: “That was gross.” “So inappropriate.”
The guys? Silence.
I emailed HR that afternoon.
Detailed the comment, how it made me feel sexualized and diminished professionally.
Requested a meeting.
HR (a woman, thankfully) and Mark’s boss (COO) met with me next day.
They apologized on his behalf: “Mark meant it as a joke. He realizes it landed poorly.”
I said: “It wasn’t a joke. It was sexist. Implied my success comes from promiscuity.”
They nodded: “We’ll talk to him. Sensitivity training. Written warning.”
Mark emailed me an apology: “Sorry if my joke offended you. Wasn’t my intent. Proud of your work.”
“If.”
No ownership.
Back to business as usual.
But it wasn’t usual for me.
The comment spread.
Guys in the office started “joking”: “Jenna’s engagement strategy is unmatched!”
Clients on calls — one laughed: “Heard you’re the queen of engagement.”
I stopped presenting.
Avoided meetings with Mark.
My work suffered — anxiety, imposter syndrome.
In November, performance review: “Needs to rebuild confidence in presenting.”
From exceeds to meets.
I started job hunting.
Mark got coach of the year at the company holiday party.
I didn’t go.
By February 2025, I had an offer — better title, better pay, fully remote at a bigger company.
Gave notice.
Mark’s exit interview: “Sad to see you go. You were a star.”
I said: “I was. Until that ‘joke’ made it impossible to feel respected here.”
He looked surprised: “It was months ago. I apologized.”
I said: “You apologized for offending me. Not for saying it.”
Left in March 2025.
New job is great — supportive manager (female), no “jokes.”
But the damage lingers.
I second-guess sharing personal details.
Flinch at “engagement” metrics.
The sentence wasn’t huge — one line, “lighthearted” to him.
But it crossed a line I didn’t know was so thin.
From respected colleague.
To “the girl who gets engagement” — wink wink.
He thought it was funny.
I thought it revealed exactly how he saw me.
Not as a professional.
As a woman first — object of “jokes.”
And no apology fixes that.
I don’t regret leaving.
I regret believing respect was mutual.
One sentence.
Ten seconds.
Changed how I saw him — and the company — forever.
And made me realize: some lines aren’t meant to be “joked” across.
Because once crossed, you can’t uncross them.
Even if the person who said it thinks it’s no big deal.
It was.
To me.
TL;DR: My boss made a sexist “joke” in a team meeting implying my professional success came from dating app experience. Despite HR involvement and an apology, the comment sexualized me publicly, damaged my reputation, and made work unbearable. I left the company months later — one inappropriate sentence exposed a culture I could no longer trust.
