My name is Trevor, I’m 27, and I share an apartment in Denver with a roommate named Caleb. Overall, Caleb is a good roommate. He pays rent on time, cleans up after himself, and generally keeps the place pretty calm.
Except for one very specific habit.
Caleb has what he calls a “morning spiritual energy routine.”
This routine begins every day at exactly 6:00 a.m.
And it involves music.
Not just any music.
EDM remixes of worship songs.
Now, I want to be clear — I have absolutely nothing against worship music. Or EDM. Or people starting their day with positive energy.
But Caleb’s interpretation of “uplifting” seems to involve playing these songs at a volume level usually reserved for nightclubs or music festivals.
Every morning the same thing happens.
At 5:59 the apartment is peaceful.
At 6:00 sharp the speakers explode with something that sounds like a church service being hosted by a DJ at a rave.
Heavy bass.
Synth drops.
And lyrics about faith echoing through the walls.
The first morning it happened, I thought maybe it was a one-time thing.
But no.
This is apparently a daily tradition.
When I asked Caleb about it, he explained very enthusiastically that the music helps him “start the day with gratitude and momentum.”
He even invited me to join him in the living room for what he described as “morning praise cardio.”
I declined.
Now every morning I wake up to the sound of bass shaking the floor while a remix voice shouts things like:
“PRAISE BREAK DROP!”
The weirdest part is that Caleb treats it like completely normal background music.
He’ll be making coffee or stretching while the apartment sounds like a Christian dance festival.
Yesterday morning the bass was so strong that one of the picture frames in the hallway actually tilted sideways.
At this point I’ve tried several strategies.
Earplugs.
Closing my door.
Even adjusting my sleep schedule.
Nothing has fully solved the issue.
This morning, while lying awake at 6:02 listening to a remix that sounded like “Amazing Grace but produced by a nightclub DJ,” I briefly considered whether holy water could theoretically damage speaker equipment.
For the record, I’m not actually planning to sabotage anything.
But the thought did cross my mind.
Instead, I’m probably going to have another conversation with Caleb about maybe lowering the volume… or possibly delaying the daily praise rave until after sunrise.
Because while I respect the spiritual enthusiasm…
My sleep schedule was not designed for 6 a.m. worship EDM festivals.
