My name is Matt, I’m 34, and I work at a small tech company in Orlando, Florida. Our office is pretty relaxed — open desks, a shared kitchen area, and the usual morning routine of people slowly waking up with coffee.
Everything was normal until about two months ago when my coworker Jenna started bringing a full-size blender to the office.
Not a small personal smoothie blender.
A full countertop blender. The kind you’d normally see in someone’s kitchen making margaritas at a party.
The reason?
She’s very committed to what she calls her “morning detox smoothie ritual.”
Every morning around 8:55 a.m., Jenna walks into the kitchen area carrying a tote bag full of ingredients.
Spinach.
Frozen fruit.
Protein powder.
Chia seeds.
Ice.
Then she assembles everything into the blender.
And at exactly the moment our 9:00 a.m. stand-up meeting begins, she presses the button.
If you’ve ever heard a blender full of frozen fruit and ice running at maximum speed, you know the sound.
It’s less like a kitchen appliance and more like a small aircraft preparing for takeoff.
The first time it happened during a meeting, we all kind of laughed.
Our manager tried to keep talking while the blender roared in the background.
But it turns out Jenna’s smoothies take about 90 seconds of continuous blending to reach the right consistency.
Which is exactly when everyone on the team is trying to give their daily project updates.
Last week someone tried to speak while the blender was running.
On the video call, all we could see was his mouth moving silently like he was in a badly dubbed movie.
Now our daily meeting has turned into something strange.
Whenever the blender starts, everyone just pauses and waits.
You can see people on the Teams call silently mouthing words or pointing at their microphones like they’re trapped in a silent film.
Our manager even tried to move the meeting five minutes later.
Jenna adjusted her smoothie time accordingly.
Yesterday someone jokingly suggested we add a “smoothie blending break” to the official meeting agenda.
Honestly, at this point it might be the most efficient solution.
Because unless someone convinces Jenna that detox smoothies can be made before the workday begins, our entire team is going to keep conducting the first five minutes of every meeting through advanced lip-reading skills.
And based on my current understanding of my coworkers’ mouths moving silently on video…
We may accidentally ship three completely different versions of the same project.
