My name is Adam, I’m 34, and I live in Boston. A couple years ago during the peak of everyone buying home workout equipment, I got into Peloton cycling.
At first it was great. The classes were fun, the instructors were energetic, and it actually helped me stay consistent with workouts.
But one person in my life took the Peloton lifestyle to an entirely different level.
My friend Mark.
Mark is what you might call aggressively committed to Peloton.
He tracks every ride.
He talks about leaderboard rankings.
He casually drops phrases like “zone training” into normal conversations.
At one point he even started a group chat called “Spin or Die” with a few of us who owned bikes.
For a while I played along. We’d compare rides, send screenshots of workout stats, and occasionally compete for who could finish a class first.
But recently I’ve been burned out on it.
Between work and life getting busy, I just wanted a break from cycling for a while.
So a couple weeks ago Mark texted asking why I hadn’t logged a ride in several days.
I told him the truth.
“I’m just taking a break from cycling for a bit.”
His response was immediate.
“You can’t break the streak.”
I told him I didn’t really care about the streak.
He responded with a string of motivational messages that looked like they came straight from a fitness poster.
“Discipline beats motivation.”
“Consistency is everything.”
“Future you is watching.”
After that conversation, things went quiet for a few days.
Then last week I came home from work and found a small envelope in my mailbox.
The return address was Mark.
Inside the envelope was a stack of colorful sticky notes.
Each one had a handwritten motivational message on it.
Some were normal:
“You got this.”
“Just one ride today.”
“Progress not perfection.”
But a few of them were… slightly more aggressive.
One said:
“Get back on the bike.”
Another said:
“Cardio waits for no one.”
And my personal favorite said:
“You got this… or else.”
I’m still not entirely sure what the “or else” part is supposed to mean.
The funniest part is that Mark texted me later asking if I had received my “motivation package.”
Apparently his plan is for me to stick the notes around my apartment so they remind me to start cycling again.
Right now they’re sitting on my kitchen counter while I consider what to do with them.
Part of me appreciates the enthusiasm.
Another part of me feels like I accidentally joined a very intense exercise cult.
At this point I’m almost afraid that if I ignore the sticky notes long enough, Mark might escalate the situation and show up at my apartment with a portable spin bike and a motivational speech.
And honestly, in Boston…
That wouldn’t even be the weirdest thing I’ve seen this year.
