My name is Chris, I’m 38, and I live in Kansas City, Missouri — which, if you know anything about this city, means barbecue is basically a local sport.
Every summer my family gathers at my house for a big backyard BBQ. I usually spend an entire day preparing for it: trimming brisket, smoking ribs, setting up the grill, the whole thing.
It’s kind of my pride and joy.
Last year’s BBQ, however, turned into something… a little chaotic.
My younger sister, Emily, became vegan about two years ago. I don’t have any issue with that at all. Everyone should eat whatever works for them.
The problem is that Emily has recently become extremely vocal about it.
At last year’s BBQ she showed up and immediately started making comments about the food.
At first it was small things like:
“You know plant-based food can taste just as good.”
Which, fine.
But as the afternoon went on, the comments got more intense.
When I brought out the smoked brisket — which had taken about 12 hours to prepare — she looked at the tray and said, loudly:
“That’s basically a plate of murder.”
Now, I tried to laugh it off because the rest of the family was excited to eat.
But she kept going.
Every time someone grabbed ribs or brisket, she would say something like:
“I can’t believe people still eat animals in 2025.”
At one point my uncle jokingly asked if she wanted to try a bite.
She responded with a full speech about factory farming while everyone else was trying to enjoy lunch.
Eventually my mom had to change the subject just to calm things down.
The BBQ still ended up being fun overall, but the whole situation definitely put a weird vibe on the afternoon.
Fast forward to this year.
I started planning the next family BBQ and sent invitations to most of the relatives.
But this time, I didn’t invite Emily.
My reasoning was simple: if the event revolves around smoked meat and barbecue, and she finds that deeply offensive, it didn’t make sense to put her in that situation again.
I figured she probably wouldn’t enjoy being there anyway.
Well… she found out.
Apparently my mom mentioned the BBQ date in a group chat, and Emily realized she hadn’t received an invite.
Now she’s upset and says I’m excluding her from a family event because of her beliefs.
Meanwhile I’m sitting here remembering her calling my brisket “murder” in front of everyone after I spent half a day cooking it.
For the record, I would have happily grilled veggie burgers or something if she wanted to come without the commentary.
But the constant speeches last year made the whole event awkward for everyone.
Now the family is split.
Some people say I should invite her anyway because she’s family.
Others say if she can’t respect the event, it’s reasonable not to include her.
So now I’m genuinely wondering if I handled this badly.
AITAH for not inviting my vegan sister to the BBQ after how things went last year?
